


Handle with Care

by Dreamshaper



Series: Workplace Romance [1]
Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-10 01:58:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7825786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamshaper/pseuds/Dreamshaper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Holtzmann has always been reckless, so it's only a matter of time until something goes wrong. Hurt/Comfort, working towards eventual Holtzbert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

When they had been called to that certain bust, none of them had thought it would be so bad. The woman on the phone had, according to Kevin, sounded somewhat frightened and quite a bit upset, but that was not surprising, not with a ghost haunting her house; what they hadn’t been told though was that said ghost was highly aggressive, greeting them by hurtling pots and pans at them, and forcing them all to take cover to avoid taking a hit.

“She could have warned us that this is a friggin Poltergeist!” Patty complained, pulling her head between her shoulders when, as if in response, a plate sailed through the air and smashed against the wall, “let’s hope it’ll run out of ammo soon?!”

“It just did”, Holtzmann gave back, peering over the backrest of the couch she had chosen for her cover, “and it’s moving, it’s going upstairs!”

She bounced to her feet before anyone had the chance to react, ignoring Abby’s warning yelp of “Holtz, no!” as she rushed after the ghost, her trusty proton pistol readied; she heard Abby curse behind her at this reckless behaviour, but didn’t let that slow her down, figuring that she had to get the ghost and neutralize it before it could find something else to bombard them with, furniture perhaps, this time… or maybe razor blades from the bathroom.

“Quick, quick, we gotta go with her!” Patty’s voice came next, while Holtzmann was already racing up the stairs, hearing her teammates hurry from their cover as they tried to catch up with her while she already reached the top of the stairs.

The top of the stairs, where the ghost had been waiting for her, perhaps not targeting her _specifically,_ but whoever came closest first… and it was prepared, swinging a footstool at her with startling strength, a noise like a breaking twig echoing from somewhere deep within her chest when the wood connected.

The blow knocked the air out of her, too, and so she couldn’t even cry out as she lost her footing; for a few precious seconds, she hung in the air, long enough to hear that Erin was crying out for her, calling out her name, in fact – and then she fell, stars exploding in her field of vision as she hit the stairs hard, again and again, until she ended up in a crumpled heap at their bottom.

“Holtzmann!” Erin cried out again as her teammate, her _friend_ , remained where she had landed, motionless; dimly, she heard Abby calling out to her that she should stay and check on Holtz, as if she would have just left her there after such a dreadful fall, then Abby and Patty were gone, rushing up the stairs, slowing down at the top as the image of Holtzmann taking the hit and then falling was still all too fresh on their minds.

“Holtzmann”, Erin tried again as she knelt down next to her, then paused, her breath catching in her throat – there was blood, and an unsettling amount of it, too, and she couldn’t tell where it was coming from, but it had to be bad, it had to be bad because Holtzmann wasn’t moving or reacting to her voice, wasn’t even making a sound.

_This was bound to happen,_ Erin thought to herself, her heart racing in her chest so fast that it hurt, _she’s always so reckless, just a matter of time until this went wrong, and we told her, we told her… Please be okay Holtz, please be okay._

She didn’t need to be an actual medical doctor to tell that Holtzmann was _not_ okay, was in fact quite far from okay; and still she kept repeating the little mantra over and over, barely registering the noises of Abby and Patty fighting the ghost upstairs, and forgetting about the two of them completely when, as if in response to her frantic mental pleading, Holtzmann let out a little groan, her eyelids fluttering, so slightly that it was barely perceptible.

“Holtzmann”, Erin said, unable to keep the urgency and the fear out of her voice, but hoping that the sound would help her friend along with regaining consciousness, “come on, wake up, please? Come on…”

“Urgh”, Holtzmann let out in reply, and Erin felt like crying with relief when finally, she opened her eyes; she looked dazed and immediately groaned again, but was there enough to focus her gaze on Erin, the pain which flashed up in her eyes seconds later making the redhead’s heart clench up.

“No, don’t move”, she still had the presence of mind to stop the blonde when it looked as if she wanted to try sitting up, “you’re hurt, I don’t know how bad, but it might be bad, you fell down the stairs…”

She realized that she was rambling and forced herself to shut up; to her relief though, at least the gist of her rambling had gotten through to the engineer, since she laid still, a small wince coming from her as the pain slammed home fully.

Unbidden, something she had read a while ago came to Erin’s mind; she didn’t even know where she had read it, if it had been a scientific article or a work of fiction, but it had been a rather detailed list of things which could break and tear and get hurt in the human body during a fall down the stairs, and this list came back to her now, sending a shiver down her spine while she fought to keep the fear from her face, telling herself that she had to be soothing and calming for Holtzmann, and not make her freak out and perhaps cause her to add to her injuries when she’d try to move after all.

“Just try to lie still, alright”, she said out loud, hoping that she was sounding calming and soothing, “I know it hurts, but it’s going to be okay, once Abby and Patty busted that ghost, we’ll get you to the hospital…”

It occurred to her that, perhaps, she should call an ambulance already, just to get Holtzmann to the hospital quickly; on the other hand though, the noises of ghost fighting were still audible from upstairs, and she wasn’t sure bringing unsuspecting ambulance men into this was a good idea.

The groan Holtzmann let out distracted her yet again from her thoughts, and even though she wasn’t sure it was a good idea, she took hold of the blonde’s hand, in a helpless attempt to give her some comfort, knowing that nothing she could do would help with the pain though.

“It’s going to be okay”, she said again, cursing herself for only being able to come up with these hollow phrases, “I promise, just lie still, don’t try to move, and it’ll be okay.”

Holtzmann let out a vaguely agreeing noise in reply, then laid perfectly still – except for the way her fingers had curled around Erin’s and wouldn’t let go, the redhead making sure to keep a firm, but still gentle grip on her as she kept talking to her, eager to keep her awake and to give her some comfort, until Abby and Patty finally re-joined them and it was time to call an ambulance for their fallen friend.


	2. Part 2

The ambulance arrived fairly quickly after they had been called, especially for New York standards; and the ambulance men clearly recognized them, one of them even wincing at the sight of poor Holtzmann crumpled at the bottom of the stairs, not even needing to ask what had happened.

"Alright Dr Holtzmann”, the other one said, clearly finding it easier to keep his calm, “we’ll have to get you into the hospital, but before we can do that, I need you to tell me a few things. Can you do that for me?”

She let out a vaguely agreeing noise in response, and he gave her a calming smile as he hunkered down next to her; as he did so, he made sure to move into a position which wouldn’t require Erin to let go of her friend’s hand, the physicist feeling oddly grateful for this, making sure to keep holding on while the ambulance guy went through his questions.

It didn’t take long, thankfully, and even though Holtzmann had paled drastically by the time they had gotten done, and looked as if she was close to passing out again, her fingers never loosened their hold on Erin’s hand; she didn’t let go when the ambulance men got ready to finally move her into the car, prompting the physicist to give the guys a helpless look as she realized that she’d be in the way, but didn’t want to let go, either.

“Um”, the guy who had winced let out, clearly not sure how to handle this; his companion, still more level-headed, took over again, smiling reassuringly at the physicist as he let her know that usually, they weren’t supposed to let people who weren’t family ride in the ambulance, but this time, they could make an exception.

“Thank you”, Erin sighed out, grateful; the man gave her another smile, then both of them grew serious as they focused on the task at hand again, and not long afterwards, Holtzmann was safely in the back of the ambulance, Erin sitting right next to the stretcher she had been put on, holding her hand and feeling bad for her, the neck brace the men had put on the engineer not looking all too comfortable.

“Thanks”, Holtzmann mumbled while one of the men moved to sit with them and the other got into the driver’s seat, barely able to speak above a whisper, sounding dazed again now, “for… not leaving.”

“Of course not”, Erin reassured her at once, giving her hand a tender squeeze, “and you know Abby and Patty would’ve ridden in here, too if there’d been enough room. They’ll be at the hospital though, we’ll all be, I promise.”

“Your friends are right behind this ambulance, in that awesome car you guys have”, level-headed man threw in, making Erin look at him, “and all three of them will be right there when you get out of the ER. You know, my buddy driving us is a big fan of you guys, so he got all excited to meet you, only he realized it’s a bad thing when he does that during his working hours when we were already there and saw what happened.”

This, to Erin’s relief, made Holtzmann smile, just a tiny bit, but enough to be noticeable, the fact that she was aware enough of what was being said to her to react this way making the physicist feel a bit better about the whole situation, even though she knew that the ghost’s attack and the fall down the stairs had banged her poor friend up enough to make sure she wouldn’t leave the hospital again right the next day.

“Almost there”, driver guy called out from the front, earning a brief noise of confirmation from his companion; Erin squeezed Holtzmann’s hand again, knowing she had to let go any moment now, but not liking the thought at all – and clearly, neither did Holtzmann, her breath quickening as her gaze found the physicist’s, in a silent plea to not leave her alone.

“It’s gonna be okay”, she reassured the engineer in a low voice, fighting the urge to run her free hand through her friend’s hair, knowing that there was an injury hidden somewhere beneath said hair and not wanting to make it worse, “I can’t go to the ER with you, you know that, but I’ll be right there when you get out of there again.”

“Promise?” Holtzmann asked, barely audible again; and immediately, Erin nodded, her heart clenching up at how lost and frightened her friend sounded – she had fought ghosts of all kinds without flinching once, without appearing scared the slightest, and here she was now, sounding like a scared, abandoned child at the mere thought of going into the ER alone.

“I promise”, she said out loud, just to make sure her friend knew she’d be there, figuring that a nod might be missed, what with the concussion and all, “I’d pinky swear, but you better not lift your arm.”

Her words made the engineer smile again, once again just a tiny bit; Erin smiled back at her, hoping it was a calming and reassuring smile – before she gave in to a sudden impulse as she realized that, while running her hand through Holtzmann’s hair might not be an option, something else was, and she leaned down to do just that, pressing her lips to the engineer’s forehead in a tender kiss just as the ambulance came to a halt.

“Okay”, level-headed man said, having to decency of not commenting the small display of affection he just had witnessed, “there we are. Let’s get you to the ER and get you fixed up, shall we, Dr Holtzmann?”

The vaguely agreeing noise Holtzmann let out this time sounded quite tired and dazed, but suddenly, Erin wasn’t so sure anymore if this was caused by the injuries or by what she just had done; she felt her cheeks heat up as she let go of the blonde’s hand, once more reassuring her that she’d be there when immediately, Holtzmann’s eyes found hers the second the physical contact had been broken.

“Right there”, she added while wince-man moved to help his buddy with the stretcher, “with Abby and Patty, okay?”

“Okay”, Holtzmann whispered, but still her eyes didn’t leave her until the movement of her stretcher and the neck brace left her no choice; with her heart heavy, Erin hopped out of the ambulance and watched them wheel her friend away, barely noticing how Abby got out of their car, moved to stand beside her and put one hand on her shoulder, unable to get the way Holtzmann had looked at her during those last few moments out of her head, never having seen her so frightened and desolate before.

* * *

Just like the ambulance men, the doctor who came to find them after finishing treatment on Holtzmann made an exception for them when he realized who they were and how the engineer had gotten hurt; he told them that he was only supposed to tell this to immediate family of his patient, but that it would be okay this one time, to the obvious relief of all three women.

“It perhaps looked worse than it was, at the… site”, the elder man started, earning impatient looks from the three as they waited for him to get to the point, “but we would like to keep Dr Holtzmann here for a while, just to make sure. The concussion is our main concern now, the broken ribs and dislocated shoulder should heal up just fine.”

Erin felt somewhat faint at hearing this, but at the same time told herself that it could have been much, much worse and that, despite the extent of her injuries, Holtzmann had been lucky; Abby looked decidedly paler as well, but nodded bravely, her voice surprisingly steady when she was the one to reply.

“Okay, thanks”, she stated, earning a smile from the doctor, only to make him frown with what she said next, “but that can’t be all, right, I mean, there was blood. And quite a bit of it, too.”

“There are a few lacerations, too, and bruising, of course”, the doctor informed her, prompting Erin to take in a deep breath as this only increased her feeling faint, “but nothing which is cause for concern.” 

Remembering the blood she had seen in Holtzmann’s hair, Erin strongly disagreed, thinking to herself that bleeding head wounds surely were cause for concern; she said nothing out loud though, but simply took another controlled breath, forcing herself to listen to the doctor again when he went on.

“Dr Holtzmann is getting some much needed rest now”, he told the three women, “so I suggest that you head home and do the same. I imagine she’ll be capable to have visitors tomorrow.”

“I promised her I’d be there”, Erin surprised herself with talking back to the man, something she usually avoided whenever possibly, “when she gets out of the ER. Or wakes up. I can’t leave.”

“Dr Holtzmann is asleep now”, the doctor informed her, to her dismay clearly not willing to see reason and just tell her where she could find her friend, “and even if she were to wake up, we administered rather… effective painkillers. She wouldn’t be aware enough to speak to you even if awake.”

“I promised”, Erin replied, feeling how either Patty or Abby placed a calming hand on her back, where the doctor couldn’t see, but not letting this stop her, “I told her I’d be there. Which room is she in?”

For a moment, the doctor looked as if he wanted to protest, perhaps try to talk her out of it again, point out once more that Holtzmann was too out of it to notice if she was there or not, anyway; then, he let out a small sigh and, to the relief of the physicist, simply told her the room number.

“I have to tell you again though”, he then found it necessary to add, stopping Erin dead in her tracks since she already had started to move, “the doctor won’t even be aware that you’re there. It might be wiser to return home and get some rest for yourself, instead.”

“I don’t care if she’s awake or not”, Erin told him at once, only to belatedly realize that she had begun to stroll off without asking Abby and Patty if they were fine with it, too, something she saw as quite rude now, considering that Abby had known the engineer much longer than she did; before she could ask though, Abby nodded at her, smiling, then let her know that she’d go back to headquarters with Patty, reminding her of the fact that there still was a captured ghost they had to take care of.

“Take care”, Abby advised her friend once that had been settled, “and make sure Holtz doesn’t try to get out of bed or something in case she does wake up.”

“Will do”, Erin replied, even managing a slight smile in return; Abby gave her another, much heartier one, prompting Patty to do the same, telling her that they’d see her later before they parted ways, Erin heading to Holtzmann’s room at last while Abby and Patty made their way back to headquarters.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thank you all for the Kudos and hits and whatnot, I'm so happy my first fic for this fandom is received so well :D hit me up on tumblr if you like, so we can yell about Holtzbert together, haha - dreamshapers-universe.tumblr.com :D

The first thing Erin consciously realized after stepping into the room was how oddly young and vulnerable Holtzmann looked as she laid there, flat on her back, fast asleep; the neck brace was still there, that was the second thing Erin noted, and the third were the few bruises she could see and the patched-up head injury, her heart clenching up all over again with worry and sympathy for her friend.

She wondered, briefly, how much worse the blonde had to look where she really had been injured, imagined the bruising of her ribcage and shoulder; then, she pushed those thoughts aside as she moved over to the bed and sat down next to it, a sudden lump in her throat making her sound oddly breathless when she murmured “Hey”, even though she figured that was a good thing after all, not sure if it’d be wise to wake Holtzmann up.

Making sure to not bump against the arm which had been secured in a sling, Erin took tender hold of Holtzmann’s free hand again, suddenly feeling a strong urge for physical contact; and then, she just sat there for a while, watching her sleep, the slow rise and fall of her chest, giving her best to not let any What If scenarios take hold of her mind, aware of how much worse this could have ended for her friend.

“Once you feel better”, she finally broke the silence, keeping her voice low though so she wouldn’t wake the engineer, “I’m going to scold you for doing this. Running after a ghost all on your own.”

She fell silent again, absent-mindedly rubbing the back of Holtzmann’s hand with her thumb; for a few more minutes, there was silence – until Holtzmann let out a low groan, proving the doctor wrong by opening her eyes afterwards, looking dazed, but from the way her eyes lit up when they met Erin’s, she clearly was aware enough to figure out where she was and what was going on.

“You’re here”, she mumbled, sounding just slurred enough to let Erin notice, and reminding her of what the doctor had said about painkillers; focusing fully on the blonde, she then smiled and nodded, giving her hand a tender squeeze as she replied. “Of course I am. I promised, didn’t I?”

Technically, she also had promised that Abby and Patty would be there, but if Holtzmann noticed their absence, she didn’t comment on it, appearing quite content with just Erin there, a not uncomfortable silence filling the air as she just laid there and Erin just sat there, holding her hand, still rubbing the back of it without even noticing what she was doing.

“I hit my head”, Holtzmann broke the silence after a while, “and… other parts. But there’s no pain. I’m not dead, am I?”

“No”, Erin replied, unable to hold back a smile, “just on really effective painkillers, your doctor said. So, if you’re a bit woozy, those are to blame, as well. Oh, and the concussion, I suppose…”

“I like you”, Holtzmann gave back, quite randomly, prompting Erin to raise an eyebrow – the engineer had flirted with her before, a bunch of times, the first thing she had said to her had, in fact, been a pickup line, but still this was somehow different, with the blonde high on painkillers and probably not quite aware of what she was saying.

“You’re pretty”, the engineer found it necessary to add, smiling a bit dopily; and even though she told herself that she couldn’t take this seriously, Erin blushed in reply, glad that at least this time, Holtzmann was too out of it to notice.

“Really pretty”, she rambled on, undeterred by Erin’s lack of response, “you were pretty with the white hair and your normal hair and now with the red hair, too. But I like the red hair the best.”

“Well, that is good to know”, Erin replied, giving her best to keep her tone light, telling herself that she couldn’t take anything which came from the engineer right now seriously, that she was high on painkillers and probably not even aware what she was saying, “you’ll be happy to know then that I’m planning to keep it like that for a while.”

“Yay”, Holtzmann mumbled, lacking her usual enthusiasm though, sounding as if she was halfway asleep again already; squeezing her hand, Erin advised her to get some more sleep, earning a murmur which could have been a Yes – before the engineer forced her eyelids open again, the fear suddenly back in her gaze.

“Will you…” she started, only to fall silent again, clearly not quite sure how to ask; Erin quickly figured out what she was talking about though, and nodded at once, squeezing her hand once more, giving her another reassuring smile.

“I’ll be there”, she then promised, briefly wondering why Holtzmann was this freaked out about being in the hospital – thanks to her recklessness, it wasn’t the first time she had been hurt, so Erin figured it couldn’t be that, even though it never had been so bad before, at least not in the time they had been working together. No one liked being in the hospital, she reasoned, but this was the first time she saw such a strong aversion from anyone, and she wasn’t quite sure if it came from the painkillers or if it was something else.

“Thanks”, Holtzmann mumbled, earning another smile from the physicist; she weakly smiled back, then gave up the fight against her tiredness and quickly drifted off into sleep, acutely aware of Erin holding on to her hand until she was fast asleep again.

* * *

 

When Holtzmann woke for the second time in this dreadful place, everything hurt. Even _breathing_ hurt, she realized after a few precious seconds during which she had been unaware of this unpleasant fact; the dull throbbing she had felt in her left shoulder when she had been awake for the first time was a burning ball of agony now, and each time she took in a breath, it felt as if someone was stabbing her in the ribcage.

_Well, you did it this time, Holtz,_ she sardonically thought to herself, for a few moments breathing as flatly as possible, then remembering what she knew about broken ribs and that doing just that should be avoided, forcing herself to breathe more or less normally even though it hurt, _landed yourself in the hospital. Good job._

Her head hurt, and she felt dizzy, but she still could remember everything, even from the few minutes when she’d been awake while drugged to the gills; and so, she remembered how she had asked Erin to stay, feeling her cheeks heat up at thinking back to this blatant display of weakness – but at least, she realized moments later, remembering this kept her from flinching and thus increasing her pain when a strange mixture of grunt and snore came from her left.

The neck brace kept her from turning her head far enough to see, but with a combined effort of lifting her head just a tiny bit and rolling her eyes real hard to the right, she could get a glimpse of the noise’s source; and immediately, she felt bad when she saw Erin slumped into one of those dreadfully uncomfortable hospital chairs, her head at an awkward angle on her shoulder, the brief glimpse Holtzmann got of her still enough to let her tell that her friend would wake up with a hellishly sore neck.

“Erin”, she said out loud, simultaneously feeling grateful that the physicist was there and bad that she had asked her to stay and practically had forced her into spending the night in this uncomfortable seat; at least though, Erin apparently hadn’t been sleeping all too deeply, jerking awake the second Holtzmann said her name, and letting out a yelp the next second, feeling the stiff neck the engineer had predicted.

“Ooh”, she let out, moving one hand to rub her neck, “sleeping in chairs was easier when I was…” Belatedly, her brain caught up to the reason she had woken up, and she fell silent – before she leaned forward, making it possible for Holtzmann to actually look at her without having to roll her eyes like a maniac, her stiff neck forgotten as she smiled at the engineer, able to tell at once that the blonde was much more aware than she had been the previous evening.

“You’re awake”, she stated the obvious, and if the neck brace hadn’t been there, Holtzmann would have nodded; as it was though, all she could do was give a little one-sided shrug with her uninjured shoulder and smirk, determined to hide how freaked out she was by being in the hospital, now that she was aware enough to make the effort.

“And a bit more aware than yesterday”, she then said, “um… sorry for making you stay here, you must be hella stiff after a whole night in that chair.”

“Says the woman in the hospital bed”, Erin pointed out, “don’t worry about my stiffness, I’m fine. How are you? Do you need more painkillers?”

“It’s bearable”, Holtzmann lied at once, hoping that the redhead wouldn’t see through said lie; in fact, it was closer to _ow goddammit I’m dying_ than _peachy keen_ , but she remembered her mindless rambling while on the medication quite well, and while she did enjoy flirting with Erin – never mind the lack of response – she preferred doing so when aware of what she was saying, and not just blabbing out every thought which ran through her drug-addled mind.

“Good”, Erin said, distracting her from her thoughts, “cause then I can give you a scolding. Really Holtz, going after that ghost all on your own, after it had already shown that it’s dangerous!”

“Nooo, don’t scold me”, Holtzmann protested at once, unable to keep a bit of a whine out of her voice, “come on, I’m all poor and pitiable and in pain. You gotta be nice to me!” She put on the best puppy dog eyes she could manage and then added to the effect by sticking her lower lip out; and, to her delight, it worked, the stern look on Erin’s face replaced by a much kinder one, and the whole thing only getting better when moments later, Holtzmann felt her grasp her hand again, crazily thinking to herself that she should fall down stairs much more often if this led to so much handholding with the woman she had such a crush on.

_Better not say that one out loud, though,_ she thought to herself – whenever she made one of her flirtier comments towards Erin, the physicist usually reacted by laughing nervously, sometimes blushing a rather lovely shade of red, too, but she never said anything remotely flirtatious back, and Holtzmann was quite sure that, if she told Erin that she wasn’t just saying these things for the fun of it and actually had a crush on her, things would get really awkward really fast.

Even though she couldn’t help but wonder how Erin never noticed that she only ever was saying these things to her, and never to Patty or Abby.

“Fine, no scolding then”, Erin distracted her once more, while her train of thought briefly had led her to wonder where Abby and Patty actually were, “but you have to promise me to be more careful in the future! Honestly, you got seriously hurt, but it could have been much worse.”

“It’s not that bad”, Holtzmann lied again, but this time, it didn’t work, Erin’s brows furrowing immediately and the stern look coming back, her voice quite a bit stricter as well when she replied at once. “Not that bad? You’ve got broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder and a concussion and God knows how many other, smaller injuries, so please do tell me what you would consider to be bad?”

“Um, a broken neck?” Holtzmann hazarded, only to nearly wince at the look Erin got on her face then; before the physicist could yell at her though, she hurriedly spoke on, not wanting to get scolded after all. “Okay, okay, I’ll try to be more careful, I promise. I imagine I owe you this much for keeping my sorry ass company all this time here, huh?”

_I wouldn’t quite call your ass sorry,_ Erin thought to herself, only to get startled at her own thoughts a second later, asking herself where _that_ had come from (and when exactly she had checked out Holtzmann’s butt, having no conscious memory of doing so); she hurriedly polished her thoughts, none of her inner turmoil showing through her features, the whole thing taking no more than two seconds, certainly not long enough to let Holtzmann notice anything.

“You don’t owe me anything for staying here with you”, she said out loud, glad that at least, her inappropriate thoughts about Holtzmann’s butt hadn’t made her blush, “that’s what friends do for each other. And you shouldn’t be more careful for me, you should do it for yourself. But, well, as long as it works…”

“Don’t worry”, Holtzmann gave back, making herself smile at her even though by now, her ribcage and shoulder were basically setting her nerves on fire; apparently though, she wasn’t able to smile as charmingly as she had thought while in pain, since Erin just shook her head, then gave her hand another squeeze before she, to her dismay, let go and rose from her seat.

“I’ll go find your doctor”, she stated, trying hard to ignore the fact that Holtzmann was pouting again, probably because she wasn’t holding her hand anymore, “and don’t tell me now that you are not in pain, because I can tell that you are. So I’ll find him, he’ll give you some more painkillers and then you can get some more rest.”

“Okay”, the engineer had to agree, in too much pain by now to ignore it; for a moment, Erin looked as if she wanted to say something, then just smiled at her before she left the room without another word, gently closing the door behind herself, Holtzmann staring up at the ceiling after she had left and counting the seconds until she’d be back.


	4. Chapter 4

“Yup, actually heard it”, Holtzmann said with inappropriate pride in the next day, by now allowed to sit upright – and, to her relief, on a weaker form of painkiller, one which did not make her woozy enough to blurt out random compliments to Erin -, “when it hit me with the foot stool thing, there was this superloud _crrrrrack_ , like that one time when I broke the chair leg.”

“That”, Patty said with a shake of her head, “is awful. Jeez, Holtzy, you gotta be more careful.”

“Oh don’t give me that”, the engineer grumbled, interrupting herself with a sip of the tea Erin was making her drink before she went on, “Erin already scolded me.”

“Did not”, Erin protested, shaking her head for emphasis when Abby and Patty both looked at her in surprise, unable to imagine her scolding anyone, let alone the snarky, self-confident engineer, “I wanted to, believe me, and there was every reason to do it! But she gave me the puppy dog eyes and the pout, so I couldn’t.”

“Um, yes, the pout”, Abby replied after a brief pause, just long enough to let Erin notice, “yeah, that makes sense. Anyway! The doc said you’ll get to go home in another day or two, so yay for that, and after that, no more falling down any stairs, alright?”

“No more falling, period!” Patty added, just to be sure; Holtzmann rolled her eyes in response, then took another sip of tea while Patty and Abby came to their feet, letting her know that they’d head back to headquarters.

“Just to make sure Kevin didn’t burn it down or something”, Abby clarified, “we’ll be back tomorrow, be a good Holtz until then and don’t annoy Erin.”

For a moment, Erin wasn’t sure what to think about the fact that clearly, their teammates simply assumed she’d stay with Holtzmann again; she only had been home once since the engineer had ended up in that hospital bed, to get a proper night of sleep, then a shower and some fresh clothes, having gone to the hospital straight from her home, without stopping by at headquarters.

_And they know that_ , she then thought to herself, noticing how Holtzmann smirked at how she wasn’t moving an inch while Patty and Abby said goodbye and left the room, the blonde speaking up the moment the door had closed behind them, the amusement in her voice making the words sound less harsh than they might have had, had she said them completely serious. “ _Don’t annoy Erin_? What did you tell them?”

“Nothing”, Erin defended herself, “I don’t know why they’d say that. I just told them that you were kinda loopy when you were on painkillers. Patty said she wanted to see it, and I wanted to scold her because while it was kind of adorable, it would’ve been bad if you’d still needed them today.”

“Adorable, huh”, Holtzmann immediately latched on to that, forcing Erin to bite back a groan as she realized that she had walked right into that one, “you find loopy me adorable? That is good to know.”

“Well”, Erin replied, all at once deciding that two could play this game, “you did tell me that I’m pretty and that you like my hair, and such things are always nice to hear, so that was adorable.”

“Just told the truth”, Holtzmann told her with a shrug of her good shoulder, reminding Erin with ease how much better she was at this than the physicist, “you are pretty, and the red hair suits you well. I would have said it more charmingly though I imagine, if I hadn’t been high as a kite.”

“It was quite charming”, Erin reassured her, clearing her throat afterwards as she felt herself blush yet again, cursing herself for her tendency to do this whenever Holtzmann said such things to her, suddenly eager to change the topic, and thankfully having the perfect opportunity at hand, making use of it at once, “and now, finish your tea, you know that’s good for you and you don’t want it to get cold.”

“Not sure how tea is supposed to help with broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder”, Holtzmann found it necessary to say, “but okay, before you give me that evil look again like yesterday… Bottoms up.”

And with those words, she raised the cup as if for a toast, then emptied it with a few big swallows; shaking her head at her antics, Erin took the cup from her and put it on the small cupboard next to the bed, to the engineer’s relief not getting the idea that she should refill it instead of just putting it aside.

“You know”, she quickly said, before Erin could get the idea that she needed more tea after all, saying the first thing which came to her mind, and belatedly realizing that perhaps, it hadn’t been the best thing to say, “this shoulder thing really sucks. I’ve been there, it’ll take weeks to heal.”

“Aw, Holtz, poor you”, Erin showed sympathy, at least and thankfully not noticing how mortified the engineer briefly was at her own words, having given away much more than she had been aware; to her relief though, Erin didn’t question how she had ended up with a dislocated shoulder before this time, focusing on the future instead of the past when she continued, “but no worries, you know I’m gonna… um, _we’re_ gonna help you out as much as we can.”

Holtzmann of course noticed the blunder, and how quickly Erin had corrected herself; for once though, she didn’t jump at the chance given, but simply smirked and raised an eyebrow, but still, that was enough to make the physicist blush _again_ , and yet again she cursed herself for her tendency to do this at the smallest incentive from the engineer.

_My God, get a hold of yourself,_ she internally scolded herself, relieved when the heat in her cheeks lessened, _you’re acting like a schoolgirl with a … no no no, don’t even go there. You do not have a crush on her._

_If you don’t have a crush on her, then why did you check out her butt,_ another voice found it necessary to argue back, making her wonder if she was possessed now; if she was though, the ghost apparently had nothing better to do than contradict her, and, while it did that, keeping her from paying attention to what Holtzmann was saying, the engineer quickly picking up on this though, frowning before she started to wave her good hand around in front of Erin’s face.

“Helloooo”, she basically crooned, the sound sending shivers up and down Erin’s spine, a sensation she was all too aware of, “Holtz to Gilbert. You there?”

“Um, yeah, sorry”, Erin gave back, relieved that this time, she at least didn’t blush, “um, can I get you anything? More tea or maybe water? They have a vending machine in the lobby, maybe something from there?”

She realized she was close to rambling – another thing, apart from the blushing, which Holtzmann apparently caused her to do with alarming regularity – and forced herself to shut up; and all of a sudden, she almost wished for her friend to ask for something, just so she could walk away for a few minutes, and have some time to clear her head, because obviously, being alone with Holtzmann so much, in a confined space like a hospital room, was messing with her head quite a bit.

Even though she really couldn’t tell why, because she certainly did not have a crush on Jillian Holtzmann… and perhaps, she thought to herself while she tried hard to listen to what the engineer was saying, about the work she wanted to do once she could get out of this place, if she told this to herself often enough, she’d even believe it.

* * *

 

In the next day, after the morning check-up, the doctor declared Holtzmann well enough to go home, to the relief of all four Ghostbusters; he warned her to keep her arm in the sling as much as possible, and to avoid moving it around as much as she could, equipping her with painkillers and a rather large tube of cream which was supposed to help with the bruising and an appointment for a check-up in a week before he finally released her from “the white sterile jaws of the hospital bed”, as the engineer had put it.

“No more than four of these a day”, the doctor instructed as he handed the orange bottle of painkillers to her, while an orderly rolled a wheelchair into the room, mumbling something about hospital regulations in response to how Holtzmann’s eyebrows shot up almost all the way to her hairline at the sight, “less, if possible, but if the pain should become worse, please come back here before the scheduled appointment.”

_Ha, we’d have to knock her out and roll her in here in a wheelchair like that one,_ Erin thought to herself, holding back a smirk at how Holtzmann let out a puff of air in response to the doctor’s words; it was adorable, the way her cheeks had bulged, like one of those fish Erin had read about, the kind which puffed itself up to look more threatening, only Holtzmann didn’t look threatening at all, but quite adorable.

“Get me when you’re ready”, the orderly stated, leaving the room together with the doctor; momentarily, Erin was confused, not sure what there still was left to do before Holtzmann could leave – before she realized that the engineer was wearing one of the hospital gowns, not exactly clothing suitable for leaving this place.

"I brought you one of your wider shirts”, Abby chimed in, holding up the duffel bag she had brought along, “should be easier to get into than a tight one. Also, the boots you don’t have to lace up are in here, and jogging pants, no buttons or zippers.”

“Thanks, you’re a champ”, Holtzmann said brightly, snatching the duffel bag with her good hand and retreating into the tiny, adjoined bathroom; it took her longer than usual, but she managed to get dressed without causing any disconcerting noises, one sleeve of the shirt hanging down empty when she finally emerged from the bathroom, the shirt bulging oddly at her stomach where it had been pulled over her arm in the sling.

“Look”, Patty distracted her from the unpleasant fact that the doctor insisted on having her rolled to the exit in the wheelchair, “you even made headlines!” She walked backwards in front of the wheelchair and held the paper out so Holtzmann could see it; thankfully, the people walking down the hallway regularly all got out of the way, several casting curious glances at the group, especially when the engineer let out a loud “Ha!” at the headline Patty had pointed out to her.

**Ghostbuster injured during bust!** the newspaper proclaimed, and someone even had taken a picture, blurry and from afar, but despite the bad quality, one could tell who it was on the stretcher, the photographer having snapped the shot just before Holtzmann had been put into the ambulance, and even though Erin knew that her friend would be fine again soon, the picture made her heart clench up as she thought back to how frightened she had been for her when she had seen her lying there motionless, at the bottom of the dreadful stairs.

“Oh, and the lady who called us to that bust felt superbad about what happened”, Abby informed them while Patty decided that Holtzmann had seen enough of the article and turned to walk forward again, “so she sent you a giant gift basket. It’s at HQ.”

“Awesome”, Holtzmann cheered with a fistpump; Abby smiled, then excitedly began telling her about the contents of said gift basket, keeping them occupied until finally, they had made it to the exit and the engineer was allowed to get out of the wheelchair and walk on her own two feet, Erin making sure to stay close to her, just in case she might not be as steady on said feet as she thought she would be.

 Thankfully though, Holtzmann was secure on her feet, at least for the short distance they had to walk to the car; and soon, she was in the backseat with Erin, Patty taking the wheel while Abby rode shotgun, the three of them chatting excitedly about the stuff Holtzmann was eager to build now that she could get back to her lab, none of them noticing the way Erin glanced at the blonde every now and then, fully missing the warmth and relief in her gaze.


	5. Chapter 5

Not even having one arm in a sling stopped Dr Jillian Holtzmann from working on her projects, Erin discovered not even ten minutes after they had made it back to headquarters. The first eight minutes were spent with admiring the gift basket; apparently, the woman had done her research on what Holtzmann liked, as it was filled with Pringles of all kinds and the chocolate bars Erin knew the engineer liked best, and of course, one of those Pringles cans was liberated at once and taken to the lab when Holtzmann decided that the basket had been admired enough and that it was time to work.

Her lab work was risky at the best of days, Erin told herself as she followed her after a second, missing the look Abby and Patty exchanged; and all she needed for her work was a whiteboard and something to write, so she reasoned that she might as well do that up in the lab, where she could keep an eye on Holtzmann and help her out, if necessary.

Obviously, not even having to work one-handed slowed the engineer down much, Erin quickly learned; she used her teeth to hold things, even though Erin several times got frightened when she did so with things which definitely should not be held in a human mouth.

“You know”, she interrupted her own work after an hour – an hour during which she, if she was completely honest with herself, had looked more at Holtzmann than at the whiteboard she had declared hers for the time being, “I can help you out if your teeth don’t… suffice. You just have to ask.”

“Aware of that, hot stuff”, Holtzmann replied, tossing the odd mixture of compliment and pet name out there as casual as ever, keeping her gaze focused on her work though and thus missing how Erin’s cheeks flushed at once, “thanks. But you looked kinda busy over there, and I’m getting along just fine.”

“I’m just not sure you should clamp cables which are attached to machines between your teeth”, Erin pointed out, capping her marker and putting it down before she went to where Holtzmann said, snatching one of said cables up before the engineer could do just that again, “what if you, I don’t know, get shocked or something? I… we really don’t want you to go back to the hospital anytime soon, you know.”

“It’s not switched on”, Holtzmann replied, sounding a bit amused now, “I may be reckless and accident-prone, but not even I am that dumb. Well, not usually, there’s been an exception or two, but not in a while.”

“You’re not dumb at all”, Erin told her, all at once dismayed by the engineer talking about herself like this – it wasn’t the first time that Holtzmann made some sort of self-depreciating remark, but for the first time, it truly bothered Erin to hear it, and she was determined to not just let it slide without contradicting her friend, “come on, you’re a genius.”

“Exception, remember?” Holtzmann smirked, making the redhead wonder what exactly had happened, before she decided she didn’t really want to know; instead, she asked the engineer if she could help her with anything, and after a moment of studying her quite intently, Holtzmann nodded, the physicist finding herself unable to hold back a pleased smile at her agreement.

She was happy about this for about a minute, time during which Holtzmann instructed her, telling her what to hold where and which tools she’d need; then, the blonde resumed her work, and Erin realized at once that she what she had manoeuvred herself into – she was insanely close to Holtzmann now, and couldn’t move away, having to hold two wires at a very exact position so the engineer could do her work, and she asked herself how she could have failed to think this through when she had made her offer to help.

She was so close to Holtzmann that she could _smell_ her, her scent a curiously pleasant mixture of machine oil, a hint of musk and her lemony shower gel; the odour made her feel strangely light-headed, and for a moment, she considered holding her breath so she wouldn’t smell it anymore, then realized that this might take longer than a minute or two and that she couldn’t really hold her breath that long.

As if getting light-headed by the engineer’s scent wasn’t confusing enough, being so close to her made her feel a plethora of other things, as well; she could feel Holtzmann’s body heat, and every now and then, the blonde’s hand would brush her fingers or arm as she worked, and it sent a jolt through her every single time, until she was sure that sooner or later, Holtzmann just had to notice.

_And who knows what she’ll do or say then,_ she thought to herself, watching how the engineer worked on the ridiculously tiny parts of the device; she wasn’t quite sure what she would do, should Holtzmann make a move on her which was            more forward or perhaps more physical than the usual flirtatious remarks and raised eyebrows and smirks.

Despite how strange all of this made her feel, Erin found herself unable to look away; the cables and things Holtzmann was working on were tiny, and her tools were frighteningly delicate, but the engineer didn’t let that slow her down, working with swift, but precise movements, Erin watching in fascination how her fingers moved with unexpected grace, the delicate work so different to her behaviour that it was almost obscure.

_Wonder what else she’s good at with her hands,_ Erin thought to herself before she could stop the thought from emerging; her eyes widened and her cheeks heated up – again – but thankfully, Holtzmann was so focused on her work that she didn’t notice, not even looking up when her fingers brushed Erin’s again and the physicist’s breath hitched in her throat.

_Okay, she must have heard that,_ she pondered, glancing at the other woman’s face to see if she was missing some sort of reaction, surprised when she only saw a look of high concentration there; she was perfectly aware that she herself tended to get lost in her work, as well, but as she studied the engineer’s face, she thought that she never had seen someone work with such focus before – and she had been employed at a university before, where people were supposed to be highly focused.

“Bit to the left there”, Holtzmann murmured, distracting her from those thoughts; she sounded a bit absent, but when Erin complied and moved her hand, she proved that she hadn’t forgotten about Erin being there, briefly glancing at her with one of _those_ smirks and saying “thanks, babe” before she focused on her work yet again, the physicist almost rolling her eyes at herself as she felt herself blush yet again.

_Jesus, get a hold of yourself,_ she mentally scolded herself, briefly wondering if so much blushing over an extended period of time could turn into a health hazard; then Holtzmann asked her to move something again, and she focused on her task, simultaneously deciding that she might as well make the best of this situation in the same instant.

And so, instead of fretting over what her reactions and thoughts to and about Holtzmann meant, she simply let herself enjoy all of it; with the engineer so focused, she didn’t need to worry about getting caught staring, and unabashedly did just that, watching every movement of the blonde’s talented hands, letting her gaze wander to her face every now and then, and taking in every detail – the way her brow was furrowed a bit, the frown deepening whenever something didn’t work out just fine at the first attempt, and how she stuck her tongue out between her lips every now and then when she, impossibly, focused even harder on what she was doing.

It went on like that for quite a while, Holtzmann working and Erin helping and watching; and thanks to how intently she was watching the blonde, she noticed at once when her movements became slower and a bit stiff, and not long after Erin had picked up on that, she became acutely aware of the small pearls of sweat which began to appear on the engineer’s brow.

“Holtz?” she carefully said, not wanting to make her flinch and maybe mess something up, “you’re in pain, aren’t you. Come on, let’s take a break.”

“Just a minute”, Holtzmann gave back, not surprising her friend at all, “I can’t stop right now, this thing is unstable enough as it is, without me leaving this wire here unconnected. Hold this here…”

Erin felt like protesting, but the fear of potentially explosive things in their close vicinity won out; and so she did what Holtzmann had asked her to, holding the wire where she had told her, glad when at least though, it truly didn’t take longer than a minute, Holtzmann lowering her tools onto the table even less than sixty seconds later.

“Alright”, the blonde then mumbled, leaning back into her seat, unable to hold back a wince at the flash of pain this brought from her ribcage, the noise immediately causing Erin’s concern to skyrocket, “that’s it, for now. Thanks for the help, this baby should be ready for the testing phase soon.”

“Welcome”, Erin gave back, “but it won’t get ready for that today, cause you’re getting some rest now.”

Thanks to Holtzmann basically living on the second floor of the headquarter, a couch was among the furniture they had put in for her; and to said couch, Erin ordered her now, the engineer complying unexpectedly quickly, her lack of resistance just another sign for how bad her pain had to be by now and how exhausted the work had left her.

“I’ll get us something to drink”, Erin offered, earning a brief nod, “you want one of the painkillers? And, oh, that cream thing the doctor gave you, don’t forget about that.”

“Fine with all”, Holtzmann mumbled, resting her head on the backrest of the couch; Erin gave her a brief worried glance, then decided that the best she could do was get the stuff quickly and hurried downstairs, finding Abby and Patty there, Abby standing in front of her whiteboard and frowning sternly at it while Patty had her noise buried in one of her many books on New York’s history, both of them looking up from their work and at her though when she came thumping down the stairs.

“Hey”, Abby greeted her, smiling, “everything alright up there? It was unusually quiet.”

“Yeah, everything is fine”, Erin let her know, smiling as well at the comment about how unusually quiet it had been – normally, when Holtzmann was working alone, more often than not things went poof, and rather medium poofs than the tiny ones the engineer often predicted, “we’re just taking a break now, Holtz kinda needs it.”

Abby raised an eyebrow at that, knowing Holtzmann well and thus knowing that, on a regular day, she basically had to be dragged away from her work or she’d forget to eat and drink; she didn’t say any of this out loud though, but just watched how Erin moved to the fridge and got two cans of soda from it, then found the painkillers and the cream the doctor had given to the engineer when she had been released from the hospital.

“You take care up there”, Patty told her as she returned to the stairs; smiling at her, Erin nodded, then headed back upstairs, once more missing the look Abby and Patty exchanged, both of them sighing in perfect unison, wondering how much longer it would take their friends to realize that the feelings they had were as far from one-sided as they could be.


	6. Chapter 6

Just like when she had offered to help Holtzmann with her work, Erin once more lamented her failure at foresight; and again she only had herself to blame, once more having made an offer without thinking it through, but also knowing that she couldn’t back down – not when effectively, Holtzmann did need the help she had offered.

It had started so harmlessly, too, she thought to herself, forcing herself to not stare as Holtzmann took off her shirt; the engineer had taken the painkiller first, washing it down with the soda Erin had brought along, and right afterwards, they both had realized, pretty much at the same time, that there was no way the blonde could get the cream onto her shoulder, and that the ribcage would be difficult too, if the doctor’s instructions to not move the injured arm too much were kept in mind.

So Erin, naturally, had offered to do it for her, and here she sat now, finding the wall right behind Holtzmann quite interesting while the engineer removed her shirt.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Holtzmann put her shirt aside, and steeled herself for what she had to do; any non-platonic thoughts were blown from her mind at once though the second she looked at the engineer, and got her first good look at the bruising.

She knew what happened to the skin and muscle and blood vessels when ribs were broken, at least in theory, never having suffered it herself; knowing it theoretically though and actually seeing it were two completely different things, she had to realize as her breath got caught in her throat and she found herself unable to look away.

“Jesus, Holtz”, she brought out, suddenly finding it hard to talk, a lump in her throat restricting her voice all at once; if Holtzmann’s features showed any reaction to her tone, she failed to register it, her gaze glued to the blonde’s ribcage, and to the angry, purple, reddish and dark blue bruising which spread over it, the physicist finding herself unable to imagine how much this had to hurt.

“Hey”, Holtzmann tried to distract her, immediately having noticed her distress – not that this had been difficult to accomplished, with the look on Erin’s face and how choked-up she had sounded all at once, “it looks worse than it is, really. And the painkiller’s already kicking in!”

She smirked at the redhead, but it didn’t have quite the effect she’d been hoping for; Erin still looked as if she was close to tears, but was trying hard to hold them back, taking in a few deep breaths before she steeled herself, telling herself that, if Holtzmann could actually deal with the injury, surely she could handle rubbing some cream onto it.

“I’ll try to be careful”, she said, glad that she could speak more or less normally again, even though a bit of the lump was still there, “if it hurts, tell me, alright?”

“Sure thing, hot stuff”, Holtzmann reassured her, her words having the desired effect – Erin blushed, again, and smiled a bit, then took in another deep breath as she got ready, squirting a generous dollop of the salve onto her palm, glad when at least, the smell which rose from it was faintly pleasant and not some dismal stink.

For a moment, she wasn’t quite sure how to tackle this, then realized that the easiest and most comfortable way would be from the front; and so, she knelt down in front of Holtzmann, acutely aware of how this had to look, should Patty or Abby come upstairs now – here she was, on her knees in front of the engineer, said engineer in her bra and pants, and only at the second glance, it’d become apparent that she wasn’t doing something kinky to her.

Even though what she was doing was as far from kinky as it possibly could be, being so close to the engineer, in such a position, made Erin’s palms sweaty; she hoped that she wasn’t blushing yet again as she carefully began applying the cream, simultaneously trying to do a good job of it and to not hurt Holtzmann, oddly aware of her heart hammering in her chest.

Once again, she was all too aware of Holtzmann’s scent, and once again, it made her feel oddly light-headed; she gave her best to breathe evenly and deeply so it wouldn’t get to her head too much, keeping her gaze firmly fixed on the bruised area, just so she wouldn’t notice the way the engineer’s chest rose and fell, or how well-defined her abs actually were, something she never had noticed before.

_Of course not,_ she thought to herself, moving her fingers in slow circular motions, trying not to apply too much pressure, _you’ve never been in such a position with her before. I wonder if these abs feel as hard as they look… ohgodwhatareyouthinkingstopit._

She felt Holtzmann shift slightly beneath her hand, and looked up, suddenly worried that she might have hurt her; their eyes met, and all at once, time seemed to slow down to a crawl, Erin not even noticing how she stopped her movements and let her hand simply rest there, swallowing heavily as she found herself unable to look away, fascinated and somewhat captured by the baby-blue eyes holding her gaze.

For a brief moment, she had what could almost be described as a vision, with startling clarity; she saw herself straighten up, just a bit, just enough so she’d be eye to eye with Holtzmann – and then she’d kiss her, and it’d be sweet and soft and wonderful, and the engineer would hold her and perhaps run one hand through her hair…

“Okay!” she said out loud, snapping herself out of the fantasy, and speaking quite a bit louder than necessary, evidenced by the startled look on Holtzmann’s face, “that should be it for the ribs! I’ll do your shoulder now!”

She practically jumped to her feet, and moved around the couch quickly, glad that she could stand behind the engineer for this – no danger, after all, to look into her eyes like that again, and surely, this weird fantasy only had been started because of the intense look Holtzmann had been giving her, and had nothing at all to do with any hidden desires.

Her hand trembled noticeably when she squeezed another dollop of salve onto her palm, and she was glad that Holtzmann was with her back to her now, and couldn’t see this; she closed her eyes for a moment, and took a deep breath, in an attempt to calm herself, before she began her work on the just as dreadful looking bruise on her friend’s back, shoulder and arm – unaware of the uncharacteristically brooding look on the engineer’s face as she pondered, just like Erin, what almost had happened between them right now.

 

* * *

 

Half an hour later, Holtzmann had changed position, lying on the couch now instead of sitting, and having drifted off into a light slumber; giving her best to be quiet, not wanting to wake her, Erin tried hard to focus on her work, staring at the equations on her whiteboard without truly seeing them though, thinking back again and again to the moment she almost had kissed Holtzmann.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid,_ she scolded herself, unable to keep her gaze from moving to the engineer, no matter how hard she tried to focus on her work, _she smiles at you a few times, makes a few flirty comments, and you react like this._

She shook her head to herself, forcing her gaze back to the whiteboard once again; just as she finally, for once managed to focus though, Holtzmann let out a little snore, the noise so adorable that Erin just had to look at her again, not even noticing that she started to smile at the sight of the peacefully slumbering engineer, another small snore showing that she was sleeping quite soundly by now.

She hadn’t bothered to put on her shirt again before she had fallen asleep, and so, Erin got quite the good view of her; and even though she tried not to, feeling a bit creepy about it, she just couldn’t stop herself from looking, admiring those well-defined abs once more, then letting her gaze wander, stopping herself regularly, only to start again a minute or two later.

Hauling around all that heavy lab equipment clearly had had an effect on the engineer’s physique, her arms just as well-defined as her stomach; and even though Erin would rather have bitten off her own tongue before saying so out loud, she had to admit to herself that Holtzmann looked good, even bruised and injured as she was – not just good, but _attractive_ , the physicist feeling as if she could spend hours just looking at her.

_Jesus, Gilbert,_ she then forced herself out of her fascinated staring yet again, moving her gaze back to the whiteboard with a herculean effort, _stop it. If she wakes up and catches you staring…_

_Yeah, then what?_ she found herself wondering, staring at the whiteboard without seeing any of the stuff on it, _then she’ll make some comment, some flirty remark, and give you that smile again, and you’ll just stand there and giggle nervously like a teenager and blush. Been there, done that, and you know that’s all you’ll ever get, there’s no way in the world someone like Holtzmann would want someone like you… And you don’t want her that way, anyway!_

That last bit came as a bit of an afterthought, one she had tacked on quite consciously; still she allowed herself another look at Holtzmann, then returned her attention to the whiteboard once more, using almost all her willpower to keep her gaze from straying to the engineer again, not allowing her thoughts to drift into such dangerous areas again.


	7. Chapter 7

During the next few days, Holtzmann and Erin developed their very own routine, not unnoticed, but uncommented by Patty and Abby, at least when the two were within earshot; Erin stayed with Holtzmann on the second floor of the HQ, sleeping on the couch there, and in the morning, she’d go out to get them breakfast bagels or donuts and coffee, usually returning just when Holtzmann was waking up.

After they had eaten, Holtzmann would gulp down one of the painkillers with some water, and after that, Erin would take over for the daily dosage of salve; and even though she figured she should get used to it by now, it still made her feel strange, being so close to the engineer and moving her palm over her skin, the bruising getting better with every day though, showing that at least, her efforts weren’t for nothing.

When the bruises had been taken care of, and when the painkiller had kicked in, they began their work; Erin helped the engineer out whenever it was needed, holding things for her or handing things to her, and when she wasn’t required to do so, she worked on her own projects, the two of them often working side by side for hours without speaking, but not feeling uncomfortable with each other despite the lack of talking, awkward silence easily avoided by Holtzmann’s love for 80’s music.

She didn’t do any dancing, thanks to the sling restricting her movement, but still at least bounced a leg along to the melodies, often humming along just loud enough for Erin to hear, sometimes singing along properly with words, and having the physicist marvel at how good her voice sounded.

Apparently, she also worked with more care when Erin was around, or simply had chosen a project which was less likely to create poofs of any size than her other ones; there were surprisingly little bangs and booms, and when they happened, Holtzmann apologized after each one, noting how they made Erin jump each time, the jump always followed by an alarmed look at her, a brief check to make sure she was okay.

They worked a few hours each day, then went downstairs to have lunch with Abby and Patty; after lunch, they went back upstairs, spending the rest of the day there with their work, unless they were called to a bust and Erin had to leave Holtzmann alone at HQ, the team not permitting her to go out for a job with them as long as her arm was still in a sling.

Holtzmann had grumbled about this, the first time it had happened; she had to admit though that, with her restricted mobility, she’d probably cause more danger for the team than be of any actual help, and so, she stayed behind, worrying for her friends and hoping they’d come back alright, unable to get any work done while they were gone.

Three of the four busts the team was called to ended perfectly fine, with no one getting injured or slimed; when they returned late in the evening from the fourth bust though, Holtzmann immediately saw that they hadn’t been so lucky this time – or, better said, that Erin hadn’t been, covered head to toe in transparent, sticky goo, looking so fantastically grumpy that, had it been anyone else with such a look on their face, Holtzmann would have laughed.

It was Erin though, and so Holtzmann didn’t laugh, but came to her feet at once, unable to keep the worry out of her voice when she asked if they were okay; Abby reassured her they were, while Erin just grumbled about a shower, already moving to the stairs.

“I swear this stuff is targeting me specifically”, she still said over her shoulder, then vanished upstairs; Holtzmann took another look at Abby and Patty, making sure they were okay, then moved to the fridge and grabbed one of the chocolate puddings she knew Erin liked from it before she followed her upstairs, figuring she could need some cheering up.

The shower was still running, signalling that Erin wasn’t done yet; normally, Holtzmann would have flopped down onto the couch like some sort of boneless jellyfish, but the last time she had done so, it nearly had made her cry out with pain from her ribs, and so, she lowered herself into the seat carefully instead, balancing the pudding cup on the armrest as she waited for her friend to get done, keeping busy with one of her books until the sound of running water finally stopped, Erin emerging from the little bathroom a short while later, dressed in one of Holtzmann’s sweatshirts and a fresh pair of pants.

“Hey, hot stuff”, the engineer greeted her, pleased when Erin reacted to the pet name as usual, namely smiling a bit insecurely and blushing slightly, “figured you might need some cheering up after getting slimed again.”

She held up the pudding cup for emphasis, and immediately, Erin’s eyes lit up, showing her that she’d had the right idea; smirking her trademark smirk at the physicist, she got up from her seat to hand her the pudding, but before she could take more than one step, Erin had moved to her side and told her, somewhat sternly, to sit down again, still overly concerned for her, with her injuries not even close to having fully healed yet.

The redhead took the seat next to her, then took the pudding cup from her; too late, Holtzmann realized she hadn’t thought to bring a spoon, but Erin didn’t let that stop her, simply bringing the cup to her lips and emptying half of it with one big slurping gulp, blushing a bit again when the blonde couldn’t help herself, but just had to laugh at the sound.

“Sorry”, Holtzmann apologized once she had calmed down enough to talk again, “but that was… wow. Imagine your former colleagues had seen and heard that, you know, at the university.”

“I’d rather not”, Erin replied with a little shudder, then downed the rest of the pudding, fighting the urge to get the last few bits of pudding by running her finger through the cup; she tossed the cup into the trashcan instead, then noticed the way Holtzmann was looking at her, one eyebrow raised, an amused smirk curling her lips.

“You got a little something here”, she then said, before Erin could ask what was so funny – and then, before the redhead had the chance to react in any way, she leaned closer and used her good hand to wipe a smidgen of pudding from the corner of the physicist’s mouth, their eyes meeting yet again just when she touched her.

Without a second of hesitation, Holtzmann moved her hand slightly, so that she was cupping Erin’s cheek; and just as immediately, the redhead leaned into her touch, never looking away from her, her heart picking up speed when the engineer began to lean closer.

_She’s going to kiss me,_ Erin thought to herself, with an exhilaration she hadn’t thought possible moments ago, _she’s really going to do it, she’s going to kiss me! She’s going to… another woman is going to…_

Holtzmann was so close now, another second, and their lips would touch; and all at once, Erin found herself frightened instead of thrilled, flinching back, then hurriedly jumping up from the couch, prompting the blonde to freeze in mid-movement, looking startled and a bit confused as she stared up at her.

“I, I’m, I’m sorry”, Erin brought out, wanting to burst into tears when the confusion on her friend’s face was replaced with pain, “I can’t… I’m sorry…”

She turned and, ignoring the fact that she had neither socks nor shoes on, rushed downstairs, suddenly eager to get out of this place, before her whole well-constructed façade and picture of who she should be could come crashing down, could be blown apart by a simple kiss; Holtzmann was stunned enough by this unexpected reaction to not even call out for her, simply staring after her as she practically ran down the stairs, unable to do anything else than that.

“Erin”, Abby said in surprise as the physicist came hurrying towards her, then moved past her without acknowledging her the slightest, making her raise an eyebrow, her bemusement turning into alarm when Erin rushed past her, towards the front door.

“Erin!” she tried again, belatedly noticing that the physicist wasn’t wearing shoes, “don’t just run out there like that, what the Hell, Erin it’s—”

The door slammed shut behind the redhead, cutting Abby off; she just stared for a few seconds, then finished with “raining”, sounding confused again now, not quite sure what just had happened.

“What the Hell just happened”, Patty demanded to know, as stunned as the other woman; helplessly, all Abby could do was shrug, and just then, Holtzmann came rushing down the stairs, too, at least wearing boots though, stopping at their bottom and looking around frantically before her gaze focused on Abby.

“Where’s Erin!” she half-asked, half-demanded, giving the other two at least a vague idea of what had happened; curious, Abby told her friend that she had gone outside, had ran, in fact, but before she could ask what the Hell was going on, Holtzmann was taking off at the same speed Erin had had, perhaps even a tad faster, ignoring the rain as much as the physicist when she burst out through the door and was gone.

“…whatever is going on between those two, they better resolve it”, Patty sighed after a few minutes had ticked by in silence, resting her head in her hand, “or this whole Ghostbusters thing is gonna go up in flames along with… whatever it is they have. Or don’t have.”

“It’s gonna be fine”, Abby tried to reassure her, not quite as sure of that though as she wanted to be; she looked at the front door doubtfully, wondering if they should go after their friends, too, then decided against it – whatever it was, it was between Holtzmann and Erin and no one else, and she knew that only those two could resolve it, thus trying to focus on her work with another sigh as she waited for one or both of them to come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Completely unrelated to this fic, but very related to Ghostbusters - faeyydom opened a group chat for like-minded GB fans on What's App, come join us :D Hit up faeyydom on tumblr for an add, we're all nice, I promise ;)


	8. Chapter 8

“Erin!” Holtzmann hollered as she burst out onto the sidewalk, not caring about the few people who were still roaming the streets at this time and looked at her oddly; she glanced left and right wildly, then spotted the physicist a few feet ahead and immediately took off after her, shouting her name again when she didn’t react to her first call, glad when at least, Erin stopped her frantic fast walk – running wasn’t quite possible for her, Holtzmann quickly saw, since she wasn’t wearing shoes – then turned and looked at her, her heart clenching up at how miserable Erin looked, leaving her unsure if the wetness on her face was just rain or if it was mixed with tears.

“Erin”, she said again, then fell silent, not sure what else could say to make it better; she almost apologized for trying to initiate a kiss, then figured that this couldn’t have been the only reason why Erin had freaked like that, giving her a helpless look as she stopped in front of her.

“I’m sorry”, she offered after a moment, deciding that still, it was better than just staring at her like an idiot, “I… I didn’t mean to freak you out like that, I thought…

“Don’t”, Erin interrupted her hoarsely, swallowing heavily, and making it obvious that she indeed had been crying, perhaps still was, just without sobbing dramatically, “it’s not… it wasn’t you.”

Had it been anyone else, she wouldn’t have said that, and certainly wouldn’t have said any more than that; as it was though, the feelings she had been developing since meeting Holtzmann for the first time – _come here often?_ the blonde had said, and the look she had given her, it made her weak in the knees – and the fear she had felt when Holtzmann had been hurt, when she had thought she might _lose_ her, was a combination powerful enough to blow the lid on decades of repression, and the words spilled out of her, as unstoppable as an erupting volcano.

“I’ve been such an outsider, for so long”, she found herself confessing tearfully, the rain thankfully hiding her tears from the random passer-by, even though not from Holtzmann, never from Holtzmann, “in school, you know, ghost girl, and then after that, too, when the whole book thing… I just never fit. But I had to, I had to, so I tried, I tried so hard, I denied I ever believed in ghosts, ever saw one, I wanted to be… I don’t know, professional, fit in. Be like everyone else, not attract any attention, do what everyone else does, so I worked in a respected field, and I went on a few dates with guys, because that’s what regular people do, right, and I never… I denied I believed in ghosts, and I denied I wasn’t just attracted to men, cause that would make me stand out again, too, you know, but then you came along and I… I…”

She fell apart completely then, her words dissolving in helpless sobbing; and immediately, Holtzmann closed the distance between them and wrapped her into a tight, albeit one-armed embrace, glad when Erin didn’t try to move away, but slumped into her hug instead, her body shaking with her sobs, the engineer not even feeling the pain Erin’s sudden weight caused in both her shoulder and chest.

“It’s okay, it’s okay”, Holtzmann hurried to reassure her, feeling dumb for only being able to think of this meaningless phrase, “Erin… Erin, babe, honey, please don’t cry, come on, it’s okay…”

“I tried to ignore it, so hard”, Erin practically whimpered against her shoulder, making her heart cramp up yet again, “but I couldn’t anymore, when you got hurt, and then when I thought you’re going to kiss me, I wanted to, I wanted to so badly, but…”

“No buts”, Holtzmann gently told her, pulling back a bit and tenderly touching her cheek to make her look at her, “if you want to, it’s okay. If you don’t want to, it’s okay, too, no hard feelings, alright? Erin, don’t do what you think others want you to do, do what _you_ want to do, I promise, no matter what you decide, it’s okay.”

For a few moments, Erin just looked back at her after this permission to do what she felt was right; it was still raining, the part of her which still was afraid of how attracted to Holtzmann she was argued, they were both soaking wet by now, and she had to look like a mess after running in the rain, without shoes no less, and then crying her eyes out, too… but all she saw when she looked into Holtzmann’s eyes was the quiet reassurance that it would be okay, no matter what, and none of the contempt or even disgust she had gotten so terribly used to during the years.

And it was that look which helped her make her decision, in the end, the fact that Holtzmann had told her that, even if she’d decide against the kiss, it’d be okay; the absolute control the engineer gave her over the situation and over what happened between them was what made making her choice easy, in the end, and later, she’d realize that she’d be forever grateful about this.

Holtzmann had pulled back a bit so she could look at her, and Erin closed that gap again now, with ease and without hesitation; one arm went around the blonde’s back, the other to entangle in her hair, and then she was kissing her, _she_ was kissing _Holtzmann_ , and it felt as soft and sweet and right as she had thought it would… and it only felt better when Holtzmann moved her good arm around her waist to pull her even closer and the kiss deepened, neither of them even feeling the rain anymore which kept falling from the sky.

They kissed until Erin felt sure she had to faint any moment from lack of air, and forced herself to pull back; Holtzmann looked just as flushed as she herself felt, and they both were breathing heavier… but only for a few moments, then Erin decided that she had taken in enough oxygen and closed the gap again, kissing her once more, with much more fervour this time, a passion she hadn’t even known she was capable of turning the kiss into something almost rough and hungry, something, she realized, she had been aching for and now finally was given.

Her heart was racing in her chest when they finally pulled apart again, she felt light-headed and weak in the knees; at least, she figured, she wasn’t the only one, Holtzmann looking a bit dazed too, a wide, goofy grin curling her lips moments later though, the sight being enough to make Erin let out a little giggle, the meltdown she’d had just minutes ago forgotten.

“That”, the redhead stated, once she could be sure she’d actually be able to talk and wouldn’t just gibber incoherently, “was the best kiss I’ve ever had.”

“Really”, Holtzmann gave back, delighted, her arm still around Erin’s waist, pulling her a bit closer again, “go me, then. Want another one?”

“Well, you know”, Erin replied, surprising herself with the sudden coy tone in her voice, nothing of the crying mess she had been minutes ago remaining, “they do say all good things come in threes.”

“Oh, is that so”, the engineer said, with one of those smirks, only making Erin’s knees feel weaker, “well, in that case, we really can’t contradict what they say, can we?”

“We better not”, Erin solemnly told her, earning a little chuckle which made her heart skip a beat; she smiled, and then Holtzmann stopped chuckling and leaned in, and this time, it was Holtzmann kissing her instead of the other way round, and it wasn’t as hungry as the second kiss had been, but soft and tender and sweet this time, and she wanted it to go on forever and never stop.

Sadly though, it had to stop, or they both would have ended up fainting after all; and so, they had to pull apart again at last, a shudder running through the physicist, and she wasn’t quite sure if it came from the kiss or from the fact that by now, she was soaked to the bone.

“Oh jeez”, Holtzmann said, clearly thinking it was the latter, “it’s raining and you have no shoes. Come on, we better go back, before you catch a cold.”

“You’re soaking wet, too”, Erin pointed out, earning a one-armed shrug and a smirk, the engineer’s verbal response making her laugh again moments later.

“I am”, Holtzmann confirmed, seeing no use in denying the obvious, “but at least, I’m wearing boots.”

“I can’t believe I ran outside with no shoes”, Erin rolled her eyes at her own behaviour as they started walking, Holtzmann right beside her, “I probably should disinfect once we get back, or I’ll have all kinds of weird sicknesses tomorrow.”

“Hepatitis from A to Z”, the engineer replied with a chuckle, earning another eyeroll and a nod; then, Erin slowed as she realized that they were almost back – and she had no idea what to say to Abby and Patty, not sure yet if she was ready to tell them about Holtzmann and her, whatever it was they were now, and _that_ led her to yet another unpleasant train of thought as she realized that she had no idea about that, either.

“Erin?” Holtzmann inquired from her side, sounding concerned as she had noticed how the physicist had slowed down her steps while her breath had quickened, and not in the good way it had after their kiss, “Erin, you okay?”

“Abby and Patty”, Erin blurted in response, earning a confused look from the blonde, “what do we… Holtz, I don’t know if I can tell them, about this, um, about us, and what is this anyway? Are we dating now? God, I’ve never done this before, I barely dated guys and now—”

“Erin”, Holtzmann interrupted her, not unkindly, “babe. Slow down. Calm down. We can tell them, or we don’t, it’s fine with me either way. And, well, not to be overly frank, but if you want to call it dating, I’d be completely down with that.”

“I like it when you call me that”, Erin mumbled in response, blushing; Holtzmann gave her another smirk, but said nothing, figuring that a comment about her tendency to use pet names wasn’t all Erin had to say – only for the physicist to surprise her, as she took in a deep breath, then squared her shoulders, visibly steeling herself for whatever she wanted to say or do.

And then, she reached over and grasped Holtzmann’s good hand, entwining their fingers with ease, as if they had done this a million times before; she briefly looked over at the engineer, making sure it was okay indeed, and after Holtzmann had smiled and nodded, they got moving again, Erin not even noticing that she held her breath as they stepped back into their headquarter, her heart picking up speed again as she couldn’t help but wonder how their friends and teammates might react to this newest development.


	9. Chapter 9

Abby and Patty were tense, Erin could tell the moment they stepped inside and she took a look at them; they looked back at them intensely, then Abby’s gaze dropped to their joined hands, and she relaxed noticeably, Patty needing a moment longer, then seeing it as well and letting out a surprisingly loud yelp, making both Erin and Holtzmann flinch.

“Finally”, the historian then thundered, jumping up from her seat, Abby coming to her feet as well, “Jesus, you two, took you long enough!”

“What”, Erin flatly replied, having expected a variety of responses, but certainly not this; Abby rolled her eyes while Patty snorted, then shook her head, sounding amused though when she replied.

“What, what, no what. You think we never noticed?” she demanded, shaking her head again, “Holtzy was head over heels for you from day one” – at this, Erin noted, Holtzmann blushed, but did not contradict their friend -, “and then the way you cared for her after she fell down those stairs and looked at her way before that? It was only a matter of time, but we thought you’d be faster!”

“Um”, Erin replied, not sure what else to say, and Holtzmann was still blushing and suspiciously quiet, too; Patty gave a toothy grin, then grabbed her jacket, nodding towards the door as she spoke on, grabbing Abby’s arm at the same time.

“Well, we’re going home”, she declared, not even bothering to try hiding that they were, in fact, giving the two some alone time, “see you guys tomorrow, have a good evening!”

“They totally think we’ll have sex”, Holtzmann commented, amused, the second the door had closed behind the two; feeling her cheeks heat up, Erin turned to look at her, not quite sure if she was ready for _that_ yet, but thankfully, the fact that the engineer’s injuries hadn’t healed yet gave her an easy way out, without having to admit that the thought of sleeping with Holtzmann made her quite nervous, and not in the good way.

“You still have one arm in a sling”, she pointed out, giving her best to keep her voice level, “and are quite bruised. Not sure one is supposed to… have sex in such a condition.”

“Oh I could work around that, no troubles”, Holtzmann told her, causing her blush to intensify, “but… Well no offense, babe, but judging from the look you got on your face when I said the sex thing, I imagine you’re not quite ready for that yet?”

“…not quite, no”, Erin admitted with a sigh, deciding that she didn’t want to lie to her newfound… partner? girlfriend? so shortly after their first kisses, “I mean, I know how dumb this has to sound, what with me being in my forties – and, oh my God, this made me realize I’m practically ten years older than you, but I’ll be like a frightened virgin in bed with you, I’ve never…”

She fell silent and took in a deep breath, then her shoulders slumped, all her insecurities rushing back at her with full force; the wonderful kisses had pushed them into hiding for a while, but now they were back, and with a vengeance.

“Jesus”, she breathed, in an attempt to calm herself down, running a nervous hand through her hair, then laughed nervously, Holtzmann just watching her in silence, giving her time, “I better shut up now, or you’ll decide this is a bad idea after all…”

“Not gonna happen”, the engineer gave back at once, in a rather stark contrast to Erin sounding completely calm and collected, even though she blushed a bit again as she spoke on, “what Patty said? That thing about me being head over heels for you from day one? Completely true, so you’ll have to do more than be a bit insecure about this whole thing to get rid of me.”

Erin didn’t look completely convinced, so Holtzmann stepped closer to her, took gentle hold of her arm and guided her towards the couch; they sat down there, and the blonde put her arm around the physicist, smiling when immediately, Erin snuggled up to her.

“From day one?” Erin asked once she had gotten comfortable – and had made sure she wasn’t hurting the engineer, all too aware of her bruises, “really? I wasn’t even nice to you.”

“Well, it was a bit of a crush, at first”, Holtzmann told her, clearly having less trouble with talking about her emotions than Erin had, “but when I got to know you better, that crush got bigger, too."

“But why”, Erin demanded to know, suddenly finding it hard to believe again that someone as interesting and brilliant and simply spectacular as Holtzmann could be interested in her, “I mean, I’m not that pretty, I couldn’t even admit to myself that I don’t just like guys for _years,_ I’m just… nothing remarkable.”

“Have you seen yourself?” Holtzmann demanded to know in reply, sounding so incredulous that it would have been amusing, had the topic been different, “you think I call you hot stuff for fun? And you’re a brilliant physicist, a genius, come on. Smart and beautiful, you’re super-hot.”

Erin blushed deeply in response, not quite used to getting such compliments; Holtzmann shook her head, then grumbled “not that pretty, my ass” to herself, and even though she still wasn’t quite sure what the engineer saw in her, Erin found herself laughing, glad when she made the blonde smile again as well with that sound.

“You certainly know how to cheer someone up”, she then said, reaching up to tug a stray lock behind the other woman’s ear, “thank you. I think I needed to hear that.”

 “You’re gonna hear stuff like that so often, you’ll get sick of it”, Holtzmann promised, smirking; Erin just smiled back at her, thinking that she never could sick of it, then decided that they had talked enough and hadn’t kissed in far too long, something she remedied quickly by leaning closer, until she could press her lips to the engineer’s.

It was strange, and new, and still a bit frightening; but as they kissed again, she also realized once more how good, how _right_ this felt, and all at once, she just knew that it would all work out fine, and it made her smile against Holtzmann’s lips as she felt like she finally had found her true home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! It is done. Thank you all reading, commenting, kudos... :) A sequel to this is already in the works, but before that, I'll post a three-parter which kinda demanded to be written first, haha. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this. Hit me up on tumblr if you like - dreamshapers-universe.tumblr.com :)


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